Don't Put Away the Boots

Posted by Christy Steele on

Did you see this blog post's picture? Those are my husband's boots. They're setting right where he pulled them off. And that's perfectly fine with me. Because you know what? I would miss those boots if they weren't there. I would long to see those boots. My heart would ache every time I thought of those missing boots. My perspective changed about things like that back in 2015. That's the year my dad died suddenly. By suddenly I mean WITHOUT WARNING. Not a moment of sickness. He went to sleep and didn't wake up. Those first months after his death, it was like someone punched me in the gut every time I walked into my parents' home. The void he left was like a black hole sucking every bit of joy into it. It was a time before my mom was able to put his shoes and things away that he had left setting. And so many times I have dwelled on the luxury I had being able to leave and retreat to my own house. So many times I felt the guilt of leaving my mom there by herself. So many times I've looked for him at family gatherings through the crowd. He would have been "hamming it up" and aggravating people. So many times I have picked up my phone to call him without thinking. So many times in the beginning I dialed the number, but he was missing on the other end. I still have his number on my favorites list, but I haven't called it in a long while. It would break my heart to find out it's been reassigned to someone else. After he retired, I would go by his house, and he would say, "Get in the truck. Let's go for a ride." And I would. We would end up at the cabin, Heard's Market, or his friend's house to collect a watermelon he had promised dad. I thought we were just driving. I'm pretty sure he knew it was more. I try not to allow myself even a fleeting thought about what I would do without my husband...or what he would do without me. But I have learned to appreciate those boots that might not be in the exact spot I want them to be. I don't mind that glass left on the counter. That means very recently he held it in his hands. (And it helps that he's generally good about putting things away.) So I guess the point of this post is a heart felt reminder that some things just don't matter. Let it go. What seems so important in one moment suddenly isn't...and vise versa.  Embrace those reminders that your loved one is still present. 

***Side note: if your spouse is the type to leave underwear or other dirty clothes laying on the floor, that's different. Feel free to address that. My man doesn't do that, but that would be my breaking point! LOL!!! In the words of Heather Land, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" HA! ***

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